back in the saddle again

i've been trying to make headway with any of the three novels, stumped for a clear path forward and not trusting my own judgment with developing plot on that scale. in an effort to coerce myself to keep to it, i've not let myself work on anything else, including the flash fiction i enjoy so much--so i haven't really written much of anything since about, oh, february. color me stoppered up.

this weekend, a good writer friend challenged me to write something--anything--about 1500 words long, and to do it by tuesday. i decided that working on something--anything--was better than nothing at all, and finished a new first draft about an hour ago.

i love having written something! anything! the writing of it was stimulating, satisfying, FUN, and the finishing of it gave me a giddy head for a solid 15 minutes. yes, writing is my drug, apparently. i don't know if it's fabulous, or drivel, but at this point i'm okay with either. at least i can still do it. something. anything writing.

here's a wee excerpt:

The breeze moved the thick grass to trembling, ghostly fingers of the long and newly dead plucking at the blades planted above them. The sun paused before setting, and the air hung gray-blue over the graveyard. Tam swept away the tears caught in her lashes, her knuckles rough. The scars sat on her skin like flat, pink toads.

keep in mind, it's a first draft. the extra-interesting aspect for me is that i ended up writing straight dramatic fiction, no monsters. it's still pretty dark, but well, that's just who i am.

O, the yearning.

i've been reading "from where you dream" (http://www.robertolenbutler.com/writings/non-fiction/from-where-you-dream/)
by robert olen butler--a dude i admire and respect, and kinda wish i could stand next to sometimes in case that mojo rubs off on people in the vicinity. it's a book about the process of writing fiction, and while i've read several of these books and parts of several more, what's different about this one so far is the approach. most of these writing instruction manuals work from the outside in. butler's book works from the inside out.

he talks about how to access the creative zone, that untamed nether region of unreason somewhere between dreaming and not, and how to get there on a regular basis and channel that frame of mind into the writing. it's exciting and relatable stuff.

of the three sections in the book (lectures, workshop, analysis) i'm still working on the first, so i'll let you know if he gets weird later on. his third lecture is on the subject of yearning, from the character's perspective. we're all familiar with the question we ask while building our characters: what does this character want? yearning is about that, but even more it's about the intensity of that wanting. butler links the idea also to that of epiphany, or "shining forth."

from p. 40: "James Joyce appropriated from the Catholic church the term epiphany. An epiphany literally means 'a shining forth.' He brought that concept to bear on the moment in a work of art when something shines forth in its essence. That, he said, is the epiphany in a story or novel."

the idea sounds kind of vague in this tiny excerpt, but he goes on to clarify so the reader's heart is all atwitter. i won't quote more of his book here, but i'll hint at one of the reasons i like him so much: he acknowledges that genre writers never forget about the importance of yearning in their characters, while the literary writer's most common mistake is doing just that. they leave out the intensity in their exploration of the human condition--that's why so many people read genre, and why literature gathers dust on the shelf.

people want to feel like the world's at stake in their stories; too often, in literature the only risk involved is whether the main character finds happiness. or matching socks. either way, the reader needs more than that.

i want to find (and write) more stories that combine aspects of both: exciting plot and depth of character. why is it so hard to excel at one and not the other? they can't be mutually exclusive, can they?

feedback at the writing workshop

today was day 2 of a 3-day writing workshop sponsored by my town's community college. the workshop's been around for many years, has developed a huge following, and presenters travel from around the country to pass on sage advice (and if a writer's planned ahead, even to offer feedback on manuscripts.)
this is where i come in. today, i met a writer/editor with an illustrious history. he's a marketing maniac, tireless and steeped in industry knowledge. he's written novels, short stories, books on writing, and edited a well-known anthology blending horror and erotica, the HOT series. he's michael garrett.
(see his web page: http://www.writing2sell.com/)

his approach is decidedly old-school, nuts-&-bolts, pragmatism over artistic freedom. he suggests writing with your audience in mind, answering expectations with a satisfying product. some may say this approach is cynical, selling out. i can agree, but really, it all depends on a writer's ultimate goal. if you're writing for the creative exploration, to attain a higher level of expression, then mike's take isn't your bag. if you're looking to make your living by writing novels, he has some useful advice. he doesn't knock artistic sensibilities by any stretch; he acknowledges that publishing is a business first, and that most publishers won't have the resources to produce and market a literary novel that falls too far outside the mainstream to make back their investment. all right. that's fair.

admittedly, i'm torn over the entire issue. i love literary and genre, both. both are valuable, both serve different gods. both should be able to thrive, if the world was fair. i think we both know about that looming "if" hanging over our heads.

so, what'd i learn from mike today? (i'm calling him mike not because we immediately bonded over chicken salad sandwiches, but because i feel silly typing out "mr. garrett". also, i want to seem cool and with-it. is it working?)

mike gave me the gift of understanding the need for deep character development. i've heard for years about building character sketches, about creating characters so real they follow me around after i've done with them--but it never clicked. i never understood why i'd need more from them than what's shown in any particular story. (and why do those character sketch worksheets always ask what color socks your character wears? really? is this vital background information?) but mike made it real for me today. he played on my background in psychology, my tendency to pick people apart to understand them from the inside out. he made the idea of character an intriguing puzzle of motivations and desires, fears and pathology, and that clicked for me for the first time.

he made characterization real for me in the same way that my writing professor made thematic development real: if you internalize your message, if you follow your subconscious and include everything in your first draft--and by everything, i mean everything that comes to you as you write, almost a
free-association--then when you return to revise later and edit out what's not true to the story, what's not necessary to moving the thing forward, your original, instinctive message will magically remain and without hammering away at the reader like a monkey with a rock. the text will have somehow absorbed your intention. this is sounding a bit mystical, but really it's about allowing yourself the freedom to trust the process. by frontloading the prep work, you later have the luxury of trusting your instincts as you create that first draft. but i digress.

back to what mike said. so, i submitted a couple of short stories for analysis and feedback from a professional, and mike was assigned to my pages. he started out by explaining his approach to critical analysis, that he sees little benefit in pointing out what's working in a story, that his focus is on what needs help so he can help the writer improve. i'm perfectly okay with this, as i know we have precious few minutes together to discuss and i want the time to be packed full of his decades of experience, chock full of exclusive michael garrett wisdom. i think i did manage to keep a straight face at his next words, because honestly, they were a shock to me. but i'm savoring them now, hanging onto them until i someday finish my novel and find an agent and actually sell the thing. and believe me, that's gonna be years from now.

he said this: "having explained my approach, i'll say this: your level of writing is very impressive. you'll have no trouble finding publishers to take on your work."

wow. michael garrett, the guy who edited stephen king's first work, the guy who has edited countless manuscripts for other writers, who has written his own novels and short stories and blah blah blah--he's been around, right? and he said my writing was "very impressive." of course, he then proceeded to tell me where i've strayed from the righteous path elsewhere in my writing, namely story structure and my tendency toward the contemporary "open" ending, which feels weak to him--but still. i'm a little verklempt over the experience, even though i realize he likely planted that comment to encourage me, to soften the criticism over my story endings. but that's quite a brace against any hope of gushing on his part to then spend a second almost, well, gushing. gushing for a texan, i mean. ;) (i can say that--i'm from texas.)

i need a moment, here. okay: voldemort's horcruxes were neither whores nor cruxes. discuss.

now i gotta get my everlovin'-crap together and finish one of these novels. i know i'm my biggest obstacle to getting somewhere with writing--just gotta fricking do it, man. mike had some good advice about getting past that overwhelmed feeling when tackling the first novel, too. tomorrow, it begins. (that's not his advice. that's just me standing on the bluff with my cape flapping in the sea breeze.)

about to have written

the old litmus test for writers--"do you look forward to writing, or having written?"-- feels a bit like the catch question--"when did you stop beating your wife?"

is it really an either/or kind of situation?

ask the question on a writing forum and i'll wager one of the most common responses is one about dreading the blank page/screen, the empty, white, mocking expanse pulling feckless writers down to excessive drink and self-flagellation. i admit i've felt that same dread, but more often i feel a sense of freedom stretch out before me when i sit ready to begin a new story.

most freeing is sitting before a blank screen without any idea of what to write.

the potential is staggering. anything in the world, imagined and real, is up for fiddling. i'm giddy at the possibilities. i realize that whatever story i decide upon will not realize this endless potential; it's not the nature of storytelling to create a tale that remains open to every possibility--by necessity, we carve out the structure, pov, character, setting and plot to explore a particular question or complication. but just having that pristine moment before making the first cut is breathtaking. i'm there right now.

okay, moment's over. i'm off to the ritual finger-gnawing, hair-twiddling process of thinking up something worth putting on the block. i love this stuff.

exciting news!

i received a letter from the school literary magazine regarding a banquet commemorating its 20th anniversary issue, due out this year. because one of my stories was accepted for inclusion in this issue, i've been invited along with the other writers & artists to read a selection at the banquet.

this is big, y'all. the largest group i've ever read aloud one of my stories for was a class of twelve. the expected audience at the banquet ranges around one hundred or so.

i'm nervous, but also incredibly excited at the prospect of live interaction, if even only for two minutes. not that i'm usually chained in the attic, unfit for the public eye, but i tend toward the hermit lifestyle. i hole up a lot. this will be a huge event for me. if i can finagle a digital recording from my husband, i'll see if i can figure out how to post the thing for anyone who'd like to see it.

this will be a great experience to have under my belt--my first print publication credit, and my first public reading of my work. outstanding. woop! wish me luck.

screenplays?

hi, all. sorry for the lengthy absence, there. i'm optimistic i'll be posting more regularly and hopefully with more substantive entries. not that i'll be researching to great depth; i'm here to introduce, to pique interest--i'll leave the heavy lifting to someone wearing a brace. call me a flirt, it's okay.

a friend of mine currently working on her doctorate in media studies suggested i take a closer look at screenplays, that those who write using strong visuals can often adapt their style to successful screenwriting. i've never really given screenplays a shot; the few times i've tried to read one i'm too distracted by the jumping between stage direction and dialogue and setting description to fall into the story. but i agreed to give it a new try. she suggested several strong screenplays to read, one of which i link to here: http://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/alien_early.html .

she also suggested screenplays for "the verdict", "jerry maguire", "casablanca", "pretty woman", "adaptation" . . . and several more, but i'm forgetting her list right now. (don't worry, she's emailing me the complete information later.)

in addition to reading actual screenplays, she recommended the book "and the best screenplay goes to . . . " by linda seger. the book works more like an interactive workbook than a text, analyzing award-winning screenplays scene by scene to bring specific lessons to bear for the reader.
link: http://www.amazon.com/Best-Screenplay-Goes-Learning-Winners/dp/1932907386/ref=pd_rhf_p_t_1
i'm actually a little excited about finding and reading this book; that whole window-into-a-new-world phenomenon thing.

i'm open to the idea of screenwriting for a few reasons:

one, i love movies and visual media. i grew up on tv and film, and have experienced powerful moments from both (the kind that leave you on the verge of jumping onto the roof and shouting out your new epiphanies to the neighbors.) while we use our eyes to interpret typewritten words on the page so our brains can understand the message (and all the wonderful storytelling elements that accompany it), i do think visual images may be a more direct path to the brain, evoking as strong a reaction to story but without the added steps of translation--images transcend language in many ways.

two, i like the idea of developing competence with handling a story full-circle: conception, articulation, adaptation. the very idea of composing and then adapting one of my stories for the screen is thrilling--as thrilling as the tantalizing idea of seeing one of my stories published and bound, sitting on the bookstore shelf (ooh! or even better, cradled in the arms of a loving reader.) and part of me thinks learning about this aspect of storytelling will help me with my more traditional forms, as well--learning how to stage action for greatest impact, how to create more natural rhythms in dialogue and character interaction, how to set scenes in the mind's eye so the reader can follow me exactly where i'd like him to go. i can see all sorts of pros to adding to my writing toolbelt.

three, screenwriting is foreign to me. i have no history with stagecraft or theater, or film--although i spent several feverish months as a teen with my nose in fx manuals written by tom savini (specifically, this one: http://www.amazon.com/Bizarro-Tom-Savini/dp/0517553198/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1272600351&sr=1-4 .) i was convinced i'd work in protheses someday for the movie industry. heh.
but back to the point: i never did get any closer to tv or film, other than my fierce love of the magic of storytelling regardless of which form it takes. i'm curious about this huge chunk of entertainment/artistic expression so far untouched by my fumbling efforts. why haven't i ever jumped in? time to find out, i think.

so, i'll be fiddling for a little while, exploring. i may start with an adaptation of one of my flash fictions for practice, as i continue slogging along with the novels. (i'm beginning to wonder if novels are my medium, if i'm not designed for that kind of storytelling architecture or am just struggling with the first novel blues.) maybe i'm hoping for a spark either way.

any experienced dual-medium writers out there who can offer me some advice and/or insight?

hand me that ice pack, wouldja?

it's been a heck of a two weeks. i'd liken the ride to a roller coaster, but to be honest, it's felt more like riding a pogo stick. takes me back to those days of creaky, punching springs and that uh-oh moment when you pogo the pavement at an angle a smidge too sharp and whang off into the bougainvilla. i've got news.

first, i received word on my college program submission a couple of weeks ago, and i wasn't accepted. (i hope i haven't posted about this already--i'm a dweller, so it's difficult sometimes knowing what i've said out loud.) on the surface, this is bad news.

i've been thinking, though, and i've decided it truly is for the best. this semester i've been taking two advanced writing courses at the community college (the dept chair teaches the courses and holds a longstanding relationship with the university english dept), and i've discovered i'm not that academic a writer. i fall somewhere between literary and genre, and i'm happy there. the emphasis in these programs seems to be heavy on the literary, and that would try my patience in the long haul. i really don't appreciate long noses and the tendency to look down them.

so, i'm off on my merry way.

second, i received word this weekend that one of my stories submitted to the community college award-winning literary magazine has been accepted. so, yay! no payment for the honor, but the story will be considered for a prize or two. and it's a print publication credit, which is nice to add to the portfolio. the great thing about this for me is that the magazine is a literary magazine, one which focuses on literary writing (i assume), and the story they've accepted is planted firmly in the thriller/horror genre. it's a freaking monster story, and it got in. double yay! my hopes of blending literary writing with genre storytelling may be working out.

i'm still waiting to hear about two other submissions; will let you know as the news unfolds. carry on, soldiers.